I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
