You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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