I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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