i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
