508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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