Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Randomize