i jhust puked up my retainher.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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