I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I wish you could order shots online.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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