why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
