just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
