I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Randomize
