i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize