"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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