My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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