Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
