the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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