Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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