Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
