if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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