"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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