you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
