I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Randomize
