I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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