so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
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i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
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So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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