Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
