how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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