I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
