Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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