you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
