Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
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Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
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I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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