took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
