Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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