We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
