Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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