That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
