have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
