Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
