she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
FUCK WHALES
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
