he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
