just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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