I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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