I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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