im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
