Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
