Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
