After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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