are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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