He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
