Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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