Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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