I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
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If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
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I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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