did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
