rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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