in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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