it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize
