Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
