Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
