I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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