Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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