did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
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