was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
