I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Bring me that man meat
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
