I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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